Seven Touches (which are permitted during lockdown)

touch stone, touch strength
(boulder, building, pebble)

touch grass, touch gratitude
(hillside, garden, park)

touch blossom, touch blessing
(daffodill, primrose, gorse)

touch catkin, touch caress
(hazel, willow, birch)

touch tree trunk, touch time
(pine, rowan, oak)

touch water, touch witness
(burn, loch, kyle)

touch leaf, touch life
(hawthorn, sorrel, dock)

Lochinver, Assynt, Sutherland, Scotland
1st April 2020

clearing

All the sounds are so loud: the flapping wings of the hoodies cruising overhead, the beating of the cormorant upon the sea in front of me, the crisp chirps of wee land birds on the hill behind. It’s intense – the clarity of the still air, the clarity of my cleared ears. They don’t hurt any more but I hear the noise of all the life here so acutely it’s almost painful.

The hammer blows of someone working on the other side of the loch rebound across the water. A dog barks over there too. I know that cold water conducts sound across its surface very efficiently but I feel as if I’m sitting in an amphitheatre. Even the occasional gentle shwoosh of the sea along the shore seems amplified. A prawn boat glides in, cutting the water in two with a steadily increasing hum, and I have the sensation that not just this but all sounds are drawing near.

All sounds are drawing near and all sounds penetrate. The wings of the hoodies creak so densely it’s as if they’re sawing through the sky, and when they caw I feel as if my brain is being grated. The hard-edged audio quality affects how I see things too. The loch and its headlands appear fresher and more present, turning rapidly as the sun sinks from green and blue to black and gold. The air contracts to a sharp coolness. The loch seems huge and small at the same time, with myself just a stillness beside it, collecting audible events in an empty echoing head.

This unusual clarity might also be due to the fact that, for the first time in weeks, I am alone – my attention undisturbed, my ears free of voices. Indeed, that’s what I’ve come here for, for this loud silence and for these elements: blessed seashore, blessed solitude, blessed sound.

Lochinver, Sutherland, Scotland
29th October 2019

offerings

red japanese maple keys with orange leaf hanging before winter green grass

Green temples, red altars.
Places to offer yourself,
places to belong.

transparent orange Japanese maple leaf in bed of red ones

Bryngarw Country Park, Glamorgan, South Wales
23rd October 2019

moon

The sea like stretched satin,
the moon tight as a drumskin,
pulsing like a beaten heart.

taiko skin against rose-tinted clouds in blue sky

Swansea beach, South Wales
13th October 2019

Villingardalsfjall

After that moment of pure terror on the mountainside – when I clung to the sliding scree in desperation, the fjord deep and blue below me – I’ve finally reached the summit and sit at its northern precipice, looking down. Fog blows up at me in cold gusts. It’s hardly a surprise: the whole summit has been crawling in cloud since I arrived but, unlike the dull clamminess I’ve come through, this fog is lit from the inside. It seems sourceless, blowing up out of nowhere in swirling puffs and, other than the lumpy rock immediately around me, I can see nothing else. I would have thought I would be disappointed: to have come all this way – by sea, by bus, by painstaking foot and hand – and not be able to see the view from this most northern Faroese peak. Yet I find I am grateful. After that terrifying moment below, to be here now in the presence of this unseen luminance, this blind light…

I become still and let it absorb me. I hear birds cackling, wind in small gusts; I see moss shining quietly when the fog is blown thin for a moment. And it’s such a beautiful fog. It fills my brain, like a dream I can’t wake from – a bright mist, a lucent opacity, a billowing emptiness I don’t ever want to leave.

Villingardalsfjall, Viðoy, Føroyar / Faroe
22nd June 2019