sand
Loch na Gainmhich, Assynt, Scotland
14th September 2025
Loch na Gainmhich, Assynt, Scotland
14th September 2025
the wind, well-travelled,
the sheltering sun,
a pebble,
waiting in our shadow
Ullapool River, Wester Ross, Scotland
8th September 2025
This is the greatest happiness, moving foot by foot over flowing rock. There’s so much of it, I’m spoilt, running upward and downward, alternating between following smooth tributaries and stravaiging over the wide plains of the full lithic flood.
And it is a flood, a huge bed of quartzite formed from the sands of an ancient seashore, deposited upon Torridonian sandstone, formed from the sands carried by ancient rivers which once flowed over the even more ancient bedrock of Lewisian gneiss. In the intervening millennia, this layered mountain mass has been repeatedly shaped and sculpted by ice and, although it’s been thousands of years since it was last glacially scoured, in places its faces glow like freshly scrubbed skin.
Not much grows on quartzite, so much of its surface is clean: it produces little soil and nutrition, and moss, grass and heather encroach only slowly. However, it’s its tone which brings it to life. It’s a pale stone, creamy-white, grey, or bluish, but is often stained with iron. The tenderness with which the iron tints it continually surprises me, from delicate tinges and marblings of peach and rose to bold stripes and swathes of thick mauve. I can’t help but lay my palms out along it, lie down on it, press myself into it.
I meander my way up the long slow slope to reach the bealach and sit on a flat stone in the largest of its shallow lochans. A huge blue-and-black-striped dragonfly beats around the reedy fringes. It’s so large its wings make a buzzing sound, like a miniature chainsaw cutting about, noisy even over the heavy drone of the bees. Although thinly grown, the quartzite is inhabited. Dor beetles are clambering about, humans too, hiking in serious silence or chatting breathlessly towards the summit, the odd dog scampering ahead. I let them all pass. I’m not going to the top today. Today is for communing with quartzite.
It’s technically not true metamorphic quartzite but quartz arenite, a sandstone comprised almost entirely of quartz, and it’s beautiful. Whatever I’m doing, out walking or building drystone walls, my eyes and hands and feet are drawn to it. It may be hereditary. Stonework runs in my dad’s side of the family, men from the three generations before his being stonemasons and quarry masters, building houses and roads across the Highlands and Perthshire. For a while, my great-grandfather built roads and airstrips with quartzite which he quarried near Onich.
I get up from the lochan and find a boulder to shelter behind. The stiff southerly wind holds a wintry coolness, carrying ravens and sea eagles, and whipping my whitening hair around my face. I find a slanted north-facing shelf and settle myself there, propping a flat stone with a couple of wedges to make a horizontal seat. From here, I look directly ahead to Arkle and Foinaven, the greatest of the quartzite mountains, an extensive complex of ridges with sweeping skirts of scree. I flew over all these mountains in a small plane on a clear winter’s day earlier this year. The sinuousness of their forms is much more apparent from the air as they curve and weave, rising and subsiding like petrified waves. This mountain I’m on now, Quinag, is also a beauty from above, its huge ridges and corries dropping away vertiginously at improbable angles.
What to do with it all? I’m always caught between flight and groundedness, between a rock and a high place. Maybe we all are, living somewhere in the in-between, in the alternation, rising and subsiding, passing through time.
Spidean Coinich, Quinag, Assynt, Scotland
5th September 2025
Cross-leaved heath, Stoer Head, Assynt, Scotland
19th July 2025
It looks as if it should be worshipped. It looks like a warning. It looks like a maritime version of The Wicker Man. I’ve been staring out at this cage for years, from the harbour, from the rocky beach on the north shore, from a sailboat gliding or bouncing by. I’ve even flown over it in a tiny plane, but I’ve never been this close.
Down level with its feet, I gaze up reverently. Whatever else it is, it’s a testament to the value of older skills and sensibilities. The engineer steering the boat I’m on remarks it’s as sturdy as the day it was made, that we don’t make steel like that now, if we make it at all. Other old markers have been dismantled (with difficulty) and replaced with modern flimsier structures, all lights and bells and whistles. I’m glad this one remains intact, a welcome anachronism, a sound navigation aid in treacherous times.
Loch Inver, Assynt, Scotland
17th July 2025
I walk round to the headland beyond the harbour looking for solace.
And what do I find?
A carpet of Lady’s Mantle in a backlit yellow haze;
a red deer hind and bambi-spotted calf stepping quietly behind me;
a gannet circling over the spread blue waters in front – the sudden dive!;
a heron flapping low and level across the loch;
the cries of oystercatchers, terns, hoodies, gulls;
the blue humps of Harris on the horizon;
and in the north-west, the sun, pale gold, shining.
Is it enough?
Or is it too much to countenance?
I wrote once that oceans begin in our hearts.
I make my way tentatively towards the shore.
Lochinver, Assynt, Scotland
5th July 2025
We were nine women walking, tramping over bouncy heather moorland above the steep shores of Loch a’ Chàirn Bhàin, when one of us stopped to point out a bog asphodel which was just coming into flower. We gathered round and marvelled at its starry yellow blooms and stalk and another of us remarked that, in addition to the Elysian Fields of Greek mythology, those blessed green meadows of the afterlife, there were said also to be asphodel fields, though she noted this probably did not refer to bog asphodel.
I looked this up online when I returned home and found that, while the Elysian Fields were reserved for the righteous (and gods and nobles), with a hellish land called Tartarus set aside for the wicked, the fields of asphodel were allotted to ordinary folk.
The significance of the asphodel is debated. Some Greek writers felt the paleness of the petals evoked a pallid, ghostly quality, while others drew on its more ancient connotations of fragrant fertility.
Even in the latter case, however, I sense these asphodels fields are not for me; nor the endless blessings of Elysium. For the afterlife, I want for my part only a rolling peatland, grown over with purpling heather and green and gold grasses, with viridian clumps of moss glowing in the fine northern sun, and interspersed among them all, the pure yellow stalks of bog asphodel, standing everywhere upright like tiny sentinels of joy.
Perhaps, for those of us with an affinity for Scotland, we can spend our eternity meandering in such a place, gazing into lochans and reflecting in the clear summer light. When I think of it though, I find myself imagining not a summer moorland but an autumnal one, the grasses turning amber and bronze, the dried heather flowerheads having become that lovely muted mauve, and the bog asphodel now vivid orange, its little tongues of flame everywhere sparking, everywhere speaking of warm hearts and hearths in the cool oncoming dusk.
And no midges.
Torr a’ Ghamnha, Assynt, Scotland
6th July 2025
Unnamed lochan, Ardroe, Assynt, Scotland
28th June 2025
I wondered if my Japanese maple would come into leaf this spring. Pot-bound for years, my Dad brought the wee tree up for me last summer and planted it beside my caravan. It quickly took its place in the garden, a quivering carousel of small outstretched hands. However, Cumbria to Lochinver is quite a shift in latitude and I wasn’t sure if it would survive the deep cold spells of a Sutherland winter.
At first I thought it hadn’t. Some of the branch tips looked dead and, as the deadnettle and cerastium came into bloom around it, it remained bare. But then – one by two by three – small strips of life began to emerge. Like the autumn in reverse, these leaves initially looked withered, hanging limply like crumpled rags. Only their colour was strong, a vivid crimson like vegetal blood. Slowly they’ve unfurled, from rags to red claws, becoming rosier and greener, and finally reaching out like tiny tender hands.
Soon, perhaps, the whole tree will flourish – produce more leaves, lengthen its branches. It will be good to see it confirm its strength and presence, yet, for a while, I liked not knowing what would happen. I enjoyed the uncertainty, the lack of surety of the transition.
Now change is fully upon us. The sun rolls northward, summer comes on. Life becomes more defined. Soon I will gain clarity in the clear summer light and extend myself outward, firmly and with resolve. At the moment, though, I’m reluctant to leave the beauty of this strange season, the gentle possibility coiled in these emerging foliate hands. I will miss this time when all was gathered, held in potential, not yet sprung.
Lochinver, Assynt, Scotland
2nd June 2025
A candle lit on a summer evening in Sutherland.
What decadence, what superfluity.
What sustained need for flame.
Lochinver, Assynt, Scotland
25th May 2025